Letter to My Little Girl

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord.... plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11

Dear Daughter,

You're 5 right now.  Or maybe 3.  Or maybe 18 months.  Or maybe you're not born yet.  One day, though, you'll be in high school or college.  You will be at a place where you are taking steps that will set the course for the rest of your life.  And the thing is, that when you are making those decisions, you will not be fully aware of how much those choices - who you spend time with, what you do/don't do, who you date/don't date, etc. will affect your ability to live the happy, dream-filled life that I want for you. When you're in those moments, making those choices, I want you to read this.
Our family just got home from the GA/Fl game in Jacksonville.  There's no telling what that particular game will be like 15 years from now, but here in 2012, it's known as "the world's biggest outdoor cocktail party."  That's a pretty accurate summary of most people's experience.  Many, many others take a bus in so they can drink themselves silly and still get back to their hotel safely.  Some, who drive and park like we do, stock the backs of their cars with a full-service bar and spend the day drinking Bloody Marys while yelling obscenities at innocent passers-by wearing the wrong color T-Shirt.  College students sneak alcohol into the game in the same reusable drink pouches I've thought about buying to carry apple juice and baby food for you guys! That is not our experience, though.  We go to Jekyll Island for some good, old-fashioned beach fun.  We indulge by eating junk food, dining at seafood restaurants, and building sand castles on the beach.  On the day of the game, the adults drive into Jacksonville, about an hour away, and tailgate - with buffalo chicken dip, pimiento cheese, and Coca-Cola.  It's a great weekend - one we look forward to each year we get to go.
This year, I thought about you a lot during the game.  I missed you and wondered what you were doing, as I always do when we are away from each other.  But as I watched the 4 college kids in front of us, I couldn't help but wonder if that would be you one day.
You see, there were two girls and two guys, probably Sophomores or Juniors at UGA.  The guys were clearly intoxicated about 4 minutes into the game.  The girls were drinking, too, but they were not acting completely ridiculous, and even seemed a little embarrassed at times.  The guys slurred their words, shot air-birds at the other team, and tried (unsuccessfully) to stand up on the seats while bestowing their drunken wisdom on the rest of us.  The F-word made it's way into their conversations too many times to count.  They wobbled as they high-fived us during the better points of the game and sounded dumber and dumber as the quarters passed by.
At one point, I turned to your father and whispered, "Thank you for not being those guys."  And then I looked at the two young girls with their arms around these jerks.  I saw me 15 years ago.  I saw you 15 years from now.  And I knew what the girls saw in the guys.  They saw "cool," "hot," "popular," "good-looking," and "someone to be with."  Maybe they even saw "funny and entertaining," through the foggy lenses of a college girl's perspective.
By the grace of God, I did not legally end up with "that guy" in a permanent "till death do us part" kind of way.  I played with the fire, though, and if given the chance, I would have wrecked my whole life and shattered my dreams of growing old with a Godly man while we raised a house full of Godly kids.  You, sweet girl, would not have been here, and if you had, you would not have the Godly example of what a husband and father is supposed to be that you have in your dad.
When you're young and making these crucial decisions, Satan will fill your head with all kinds of lies.  Satan will tell you things like, "all the good guys are taken, and the ones who aren't wouldn't want me, anyway."  "All the guys, even the nice, church-going ones, drink."  "Guys just want one thing - they're all like that." "He'll change if I love him enough."  Satan, because he is crafty, will use some things that are true to convince you of these lies.   You will see a lot of "decent guys" drinking and partying like everyone else - at football games, fraternity parties, and most other social scenes.   You will meet a lot of happily married couples who regularly partied it up once upon a time and who had sex before marriage and ended up married, with nice families anyway.  You might go through a long season of being single; you might get dumped or rejected multiple times by nice guys, and not-so-nice ones.  A guy you meet at church might pressure you to do physical things with him that are intended for your husband.  There will be times when it truly feels like there are no Godly men out there who are available for you.  The truth is they are out there, and they are worth waiting for as long as it takes.
Yesterday, at the game, I wanted to pull those girls aside and tell them to dump those losers.  I wanted to tell them how beautiful and valuable they are and how the choices they were making were not ones that would bring them lasting joy and happiness.  One row back and 12 years later, there was not one thing that was attractive or desirable about the guys they were with.  They were rude, disrespectful, and had stinky breath.  They were beyond lame.  They were not on the road to being Godly husbands and fathers one day for those young ladies.  They were not displaying qualities of faithful providers who would lead their families guided by prayer and the bible.  They are not God's best for you.
I hope and pray that when you start dating, you will have a strong sense of confidence and security in who you are and what you want.   That you will know how beautiful and precious you are to me.   (I know I don't count - I'm just your mother).  To your dad.  (Well, getting better, but still, it's Dad).  To God.  (Yes, typical - and 100% true - Sunday School example).  And to the Godly man that God is preparing for you as I write this.  This man is not going to be sloshing beer around at a football game, and if he is, he's not ready for you, yet, baby.  Because you are better than that.  You deserve better than that, and you can have better than that if you wait for God's timing to unfold in your life.

Your dad and I have been praying for your wisdom and for that man since before you were born.