The Day After The Vote

Alright, I'm going to type a few thoughts on the healthcare vote, because you all know I have them! I've spent the day reading the Facebook postings and blogs, and trying to lick my wounds from last night. What happened is a scary thing, for sure, and I think the next few months will be interesting to say the least.
I am most broken-hearted about the abortion language. To make me participate in an act that I find morally reprehensible by using my tax dollars to fund abortions is... well, there just aren't words. I certainly don't have very many nice things to say about Congressman Stupak tonight.
"But at least the government option didn't get through!!!" Yeah, let's look at that. The bill prevents insurance companies from denying coverage to people with pre-existing conditions. It's an issue that certainly needs to be addressed, but what's to stop healthy people from dropping their coverage and opting to pay the minimal fine, since they can be covered at a moment's notice should something go wrong with their health?? That will drive prices out of reach for most Americans (you think they're high now???), and private insurance companies will go out of business, or morph into the government option pretty quickly.  (If anyone has any estimates on the time frame for this, I'd be interested to know).

I spent a lot of time yesterday praying that God would intervene and send an "attack of conscience" to those who were prepared to vote "yes" on this bill. As we know the bill passed - 2 weeks before Easter. In my opinion, it's a horrible, unjust, cruel bill, and the exact wrong thing was done last night that will have horrible, horrible consequences for our nation. I am outraged that my "elected leadership" used my tax dollars to buy votes for a bill that I want no part of with no regard for what the American people want, not to mention the enormous rule-changing that took place.
And then I remember that this isn't the first time that a horrible, unjust, cruel, exact wrong thing was done by a government. In 12 days we are going to celebrate "Black Friday" - a day when a government leader listened to the loud cries of a very wrong and unfair crowd and let a murderer walk free while the perfect, sinless, Son of God went to die the most horrible, unfair, cruel, exact wrong death - perfectly line with God's plan for His Son and our world. I imagine that Mary, the Disciples, and a few others watched in disbelief, shock, and disappointment in their leadership, and many of their fellow citizens, as our Messiah was beaten and hung to die. And as a result of that terrible tragedy, God brought immeasurable good as only He can.
No government decision, no matter how despicably crafted, will ever be as unjust and far-reaching as the decision made on Black Friday. This healthcare bill pales in comparison to the wrong that was done to Jesus during His last days on this earth. Although I don't think the healthcare bill resembles anything close to the Christian principles that this country was founded on, I do believe that God can and will bring good out of it and that like all things, it falls perfectly in line with His plan for our world.

It still stings a little today, though....

A Family Update

Good evening! The kids are in bed at a decent time tonight, and before I do the happy dance and call it a night, I thought I'd better make sure my oldest child doesn't escape from her room 10 times, as has been her recent pattern! So, I figured I'd blog with this time.

We're doing well, as always, but the past week has been a bit challenging. We went to San Antonio for my college roommate's wedding last week/weekend and had a blast. The kids did great on both flights, and I was really glad that they aren't old enough to sense my fear on airplanes. Christa loved it - even the very bumpy ride back and thought it was a fun ride. I informed Cline that we're never flying again (as I have sworn for our last 3 trips :) I wish I wasn't scared of flying - I enjoy the thought of traveling to exotic lands. But I worry for weeks leading up to the flight, and the actual experience is torture.

At any rate, the wedding was beautiful. I was honored to be the Matron-of-Honor and quite pleased to fit into my dress (although I was hoping it would be a little big by now, but that's another rant for another day)! The kids did great, but it was a long trip for them. They got wayyyyyy off of the nice sleep schedule we were starting to establish. Christa went for several days without a nap and a late bedtime, and today is the first day she's napped and gone to bed without a 2 hour talk about going to sleep since we returned home. To add to that, poor Abby Kate flew back home with a fever and was diagnosed with an ear infection (and probably a virus or two on top of that) on Tuesday. She seems to be doing better now, with the help of some antibiotics, but she's still not eating wonderfully.

Needless to say, it's been a hectic and exhausting week for us. I'm hoping the girls sleep well tonight and that by tomorrow I can officially declare us back on schedule! I'm really looking forward to some warmer weather and hopefully sunnier days. I am very much over the rainy winter and want more daylight hours.

Well, I'm off to surf Facebook for a little while before I decide that Christa is actually going to bed :) Have a great night!

No Time For Words...

... but thanks to my wonderful mother, who is watching my children right now, here are some pictures for you to enjoy! Unfortunately, I can't figure out how to put them in order, so I'll just tell you what's going on and about when they were taken.

Abby Kate is 6 months old!! (March 2, 2010)

She's scarily close to crawling - she has no teeth and can't sit up, but she's starting to scoot on her hands and knees - HELP!!

This picture was taken sometime a couple of weeks ago - my girls still love each other so much, although we're having to explain to Christa that it's not OK to hit or kick even if it's just a game.

Winter trip to Gatlinburg in February!

Snowball fun!

Sweet sisters!

Cline and I went to an auction recently - I'm not actually as "busty" as I appear here - I guess it was the dress.

Abby Kate is 5 months old (February 2, 2010). Christa wore this outfit that a sweet friend handmade with room to spare at 6 months old. When I put it on Abby Kate at 5 months, it was already a little snug.

Gotta run - don't want to take advantage of the help :) Thanks mom!

Not that I Think Anyone Actually Checks This Blog Anymore....

..... but I do have plans to post some pictures in the next couple of weeks. We're pretty slammed right now with a wedding in San Antonio coming up (please start prayers for smooth and safe flights now:) and just life in general is hectic. I do appreciate those of you who continue to keep me on Google Reader and drop an occasional comment. I know that this blog isn't what it used to be. Honestly, I've thought about dropping it altogether, but I read something tonight that might make me reconsider. It is my version of scrap booking and a nice little place to tuck away some fun memories of these great days. For that reason alone, I'm going to try and write enough to keep this blog going until these busy days offer me a little more time and energy than they have for the last year.

For the next 2 weeks, I have some projects and traveling to do, but after that, I hope to make pictures a high priority. Until then, have a great day!

I'm Really Trying....

.... but I just can't find time to update this blog! I'm not giving it up or anything; I'm just drowning in the daily chores of parenting, social activities, paperwork, and rearranging the house over and over again trying to find a set-up that is both functional and minimally attractive! (Some new furniture would help this endeavor greatly, but in the meantime, I'm doing my best to work with what we've got).

Briefly, I'll update you on what's been happening around here, and hopefully I'll post some pictures sometime before Abby Kate's first birthday :) Christa is growing more every day. She speaks soooooo well, and carries on complete conversations quite articulately. She's still a little junk-food junkie, and when we offer her 2 or 3 M&Ms as a treat for trying to go potty, she will say "I need big M&Ms" (meaning a large handful). She cracks us up daily, and has lots of little songs she likes to sing. Tonight, she entertained us by galloping around Wal-Mart, enthusiastically yelling, "yeah!" I guess she was excited to be there. Who can blame her?? Yesterday, she discovered she can write letters on her Magna-Doodle with some tracer-plastic-thingies (yes, that is the official name for these learning tools :), and is quite proud of herself when she finishes. She will hold it up and proudly say, "Look, Mommy, Look!"

Abby Kate and I are still working through feeding issues - keeping her fed is a full-time job, and our lactation consultant still isn't quite satisfied with her weight gain, so we've stepped the supplements up another notch. Dare I say that we may have found the right feeding routine because she has slept much better the past few nights and is going a good 4 hours in between feedings now. At the advice of several trusted friends, I went ahead and moved her to her crib, even though she was still waking up 3-5 times a night. Let me just say that this move has greatly improved our relationship! She is such a delightful baby, and her smiles are all the more adorable now that I've gotten a couple of nights of decent sleep.

As for me, I'm staying busy meeting the demands of the two sweetest girls on the planet day in and day out. I've also been busy with my MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group, organizing play dates and trying to start a couple of supper clubs. I'm starting to feel like I can handle 2 kids and have some version of a social life, too!

I'm also on Facebook now, and update that a little more often, so friend me there for more frequent updates. I'm still trying to keep this blog updated, as I do enjoy writing here, but it's pretty obvious that the weekly updates are still a little too ambitious.

I'll try to post some pictures really soon! Have a great day!

Tales From the Bassinet

10:00 p.m. Finally - the kids are asleep, the youngest one is safely in her bassinet - not crying for a change - and the bath water is running. As I step into the steamy nirvana, I push aside the flood of chores I could be doing right now - the laundry I could be folding, the dishes I could be washing, the bills I could be paying, the toys I could be organizing...

Thirty mintues to soak... please, Abby Kate, just sleep for 30 minutes.

I sink down into the water and enjoy the silence of my quiet house as the challenges of the day play through my head. Challenges such as the dirty diapers I lost count of by 11 am, the piles of goldfish I swept up eighteen times, the many moments I firmly told Christa, "Stop getting into that," and the large mountain of dirty clothes from the day that proves my kids are surely the messiest children in America. As I start to relax a little, guilt washes over me with the bath water for the moment I screamed at Christa for throwing her cup on the floor. Sure she shouldn't have thrown it, but I lost my cool without listening to what she wanted - "ice cold water" - not lukewarm water. She was very clear; I was the one in a hurry. Sure I wouldn't have yelled at her if she had just been better behaved during the morning, but she's TWO, and I'm.... not two.
Five minutes into the bath, just as the temperature and water level are getting really good, I hear it. Jet Fighters shooting each other down directly over my house might be a less scary sound.

Waaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

Come on, Abby Kate! Mommy's had such a hard day - is 10 minutes to shave my legs really so much to ask??

The crying continues as if Hershey's has just announced they are going out of business. As I reluctantly hurl my legs over the side of the tub, patting myself dry while saying, "it's OK - Mommy will be right there," to no one in particular, I reach for my bath robe, the bags under my eyes feeling like they weigh a hundred pounds or more.

It's going to be a long night.

As I walk over to my clearly distressed infant, the intense frustration subsides as I wipe her tear-stained cheeks and reach to pick her up. Silence fills the house once again. As she sucks on the pacifier and holds onto my finger like it's the softest teddy bear in the world, I melt, and feel guilty for taking so long to get to her. My mind fast forwards to when she's older and I will give anything to be able to comfort her so easily. Surely my hand will not always have the magical powers it possesses now. One day, she might prefer to sleep at her friend's house over cuddling with me at 10 pm.... or 2 am for that matter. And I have a feeling that a pink pacifier will do little to cure her first broken heart.

I sit in the rocking chair, soothing my youngest daughter with minimal effort and sort of missing the older one sleeping soundly in her bed. Suddenly the messy house and hairy legs don't seem like such a big deal. I have many years ahead of me to have folded clothes, organized things, leisurely bubble baths, and a good night's sleep. I've been told that when that time comes, I'll ache for these days of being needed constantly by two sweet girls. As my little girl closes her eyes again, I lean over and kiss her chubby cheek, and feel a little sad that one day, I won't get to kiss that cheek anytime I want to. I whisper, "I love you," into her ear, and for a moment, it seems that all is right with the world.

Thank you, God for giving me these precious children. Please help me to be worthy to be their mother. You're a bit high-maintenance, Abby Kate - but I wouldn't trade these days for anything in the world!

Sleep, Baby, Sleep

When Christa was a baby, she was sleeping 7-8 hours at night by the time she was 7 weeks old. By 2 months, she was taking fairly regular naps, and certainly by 4 months, I could predict when she would sleep enough to schedule daily activities as well as some down-time while she rested at home. Granted, I broke a few of the SIDS rules - she slept on her stomach after about 3 weeks of painful screaming (due to Reflux). I also pimped out her crib with some comforting stuffed animals, even giving her a duck/blankie combination which she still sleeps with to this day. We used the bumper pads, and although I worried when she buried her face up in it during her slumber, I didn't dare wake her. Just for good measure, I placed a soft blanket over her each time she slept, since I know I can't sleep without a blanket over me. When she refused the pacifier the one time I offered it to her, I decided she would learn to self soothe, and sure enough, she found her thumb by 2 and a half months. And to this day, our bedtime routine simply consists of a story, a song, a kiss, a prayer, and a "Goodnight Christa," as I lay her down and close the door for about 13 hours until she wakes up. Christa and I have always had a good thing going when it comes to our sleep. Yes, I pretty much rocked as a mom back then :)

When Abby Kate was born, I decided that I didn't like constantly worrying that Christa would die of SIDS, and I would have only myself to blame. I also decided that lots of other parents convince their babies to sleep on their backs, carefully following all of the guidelines, and so surely an experienced parent like myself could follow suit. I have done things completely differently this time around. Abby Kate started off sleeping like a dream, and I had to really work to wake her up to eat at night (what was I thinking???) that first month. I place Abby Kate on her back or her side each time I lay her down. She, unlike Christa, readily accepted the pacifier the one time I offered it to her, and they have been good friends ever since. I have had no cute stuffed animals anywhere near her, and although I do use blankets, I keep them away from the upper half of her body, unless she is safely wrapped up in her bouncer. She has yet to experience her cozy crib, complete with fluffy bumper pads. And I HAVEN'T SLEPT IN 4 AND A HALF MONTHS!!! Check that - 8 months - Abby Kate kept me up at night even from inside the womb.

Now, I don't know what to do. It seems a little cruel to suddenly pull the pacifier now, just because I have to wake up to find it for her 5 times a night. I don't know if she'd sleep on her stomach at this point even if I was willing to try it. The kid likes to eat around the clock, and although I've gotten some conflicting advice about this, I don't want to starve her if she's truly hungry. (I'm not one of those parents that can "discern the 50 different types of cries." They all sound the same to me).

I've been told twice this week that "smart babies don't sleep." I think that's just something some doctor made up to make the parents of the sleepless babies feel better. Well, do you know what they can do with that advice? They can repeat it to me over and over again, because it does, actually, make me feel a little better!

I know, I know - every baby is different. And I know, I know, the SIDS recommendations save lives. But it's so disheartening to feel like such a failure when all I need is a good night's sleep!