Sleep, Baby, Sleep

When Christa was a baby, she was sleeping 7-8 hours at night by the time she was 7 weeks old. By 2 months, she was taking fairly regular naps, and certainly by 4 months, I could predict when she would sleep enough to schedule daily activities as well as some down-time while she rested at home. Granted, I broke a few of the SIDS rules - she slept on her stomach after about 3 weeks of painful screaming (due to Reflux). I also pimped out her crib with some comforting stuffed animals, even giving her a duck/blankie combination which she still sleeps with to this day. We used the bumper pads, and although I worried when she buried her face up in it during her slumber, I didn't dare wake her. Just for good measure, I placed a soft blanket over her each time she slept, since I know I can't sleep without a blanket over me. When she refused the pacifier the one time I offered it to her, I decided she would learn to self soothe, and sure enough, she found her thumb by 2 and a half months. And to this day, our bedtime routine simply consists of a story, a song, a kiss, a prayer, and a "Goodnight Christa," as I lay her down and close the door for about 13 hours until she wakes up. Christa and I have always had a good thing going when it comes to our sleep. Yes, I pretty much rocked as a mom back then :)

When Abby Kate was born, I decided that I didn't like constantly worrying that Christa would die of SIDS, and I would have only myself to blame. I also decided that lots of other parents convince their babies to sleep on their backs, carefully following all of the guidelines, and so surely an experienced parent like myself could follow suit. I have done things completely differently this time around. Abby Kate started off sleeping like a dream, and I had to really work to wake her up to eat at night (what was I thinking???) that first month. I place Abby Kate on her back or her side each time I lay her down. She, unlike Christa, readily accepted the pacifier the one time I offered it to her, and they have been good friends ever since. I have had no cute stuffed animals anywhere near her, and although I do use blankets, I keep them away from the upper half of her body, unless she is safely wrapped up in her bouncer. She has yet to experience her cozy crib, complete with fluffy bumper pads. And I HAVEN'T SLEPT IN 4 AND A HALF MONTHS!!! Check that - 8 months - Abby Kate kept me up at night even from inside the womb.

Now, I don't know what to do. It seems a little cruel to suddenly pull the pacifier now, just because I have to wake up to find it for her 5 times a night. I don't know if she'd sleep on her stomach at this point even if I was willing to try it. The kid likes to eat around the clock, and although I've gotten some conflicting advice about this, I don't want to starve her if she's truly hungry. (I'm not one of those parents that can "discern the 50 different types of cries." They all sound the same to me).

I've been told twice this week that "smart babies don't sleep." I think that's just something some doctor made up to make the parents of the sleepless babies feel better. Well, do you know what they can do with that advice? They can repeat it to me over and over again, because it does, actually, make me feel a little better!

I know, I know - every baby is different. And I know, I know, the SIDS recommendations save lives. But it's so disheartening to feel like such a failure when all I need is a good night's sleep!