Tales From the Bassinet

10:00 p.m. Finally - the kids are asleep, the youngest one is safely in her bassinet - not crying for a change - and the bath water is running. As I step into the steamy nirvana, I push aside the flood of chores I could be doing right now - the laundry I could be folding, the dishes I could be washing, the bills I could be paying, the toys I could be organizing...

Thirty mintues to soak... please, Abby Kate, just sleep for 30 minutes.

I sink down into the water and enjoy the silence of my quiet house as the challenges of the day play through my head. Challenges such as the dirty diapers I lost count of by 11 am, the piles of goldfish I swept up eighteen times, the many moments I firmly told Christa, "Stop getting into that," and the large mountain of dirty clothes from the day that proves my kids are surely the messiest children in America. As I start to relax a little, guilt washes over me with the bath water for the moment I screamed at Christa for throwing her cup on the floor. Sure she shouldn't have thrown it, but I lost my cool without listening to what she wanted - "ice cold water" - not lukewarm water. She was very clear; I was the one in a hurry. Sure I wouldn't have yelled at her if she had just been better behaved during the morning, but she's TWO, and I'm.... not two.
Five minutes into the bath, just as the temperature and water level are getting really good, I hear it. Jet Fighters shooting each other down directly over my house might be a less scary sound.

Waaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

Come on, Abby Kate! Mommy's had such a hard day - is 10 minutes to shave my legs really so much to ask??

The crying continues as if Hershey's has just announced they are going out of business. As I reluctantly hurl my legs over the side of the tub, patting myself dry while saying, "it's OK - Mommy will be right there," to no one in particular, I reach for my bath robe, the bags under my eyes feeling like they weigh a hundred pounds or more.

It's going to be a long night.

As I walk over to my clearly distressed infant, the intense frustration subsides as I wipe her tear-stained cheeks and reach to pick her up. Silence fills the house once again. As she sucks on the pacifier and holds onto my finger like it's the softest teddy bear in the world, I melt, and feel guilty for taking so long to get to her. My mind fast forwards to when she's older and I will give anything to be able to comfort her so easily. Surely my hand will not always have the magical powers it possesses now. One day, she might prefer to sleep at her friend's house over cuddling with me at 10 pm.... or 2 am for that matter. And I have a feeling that a pink pacifier will do little to cure her first broken heart.

I sit in the rocking chair, soothing my youngest daughter with minimal effort and sort of missing the older one sleeping soundly in her bed. Suddenly the messy house and hairy legs don't seem like such a big deal. I have many years ahead of me to have folded clothes, organized things, leisurely bubble baths, and a good night's sleep. I've been told that when that time comes, I'll ache for these days of being needed constantly by two sweet girls. As my little girl closes her eyes again, I lean over and kiss her chubby cheek, and feel a little sad that one day, I won't get to kiss that cheek anytime I want to. I whisper, "I love you," into her ear, and for a moment, it seems that all is right with the world.

Thank you, God for giving me these precious children. Please help me to be worthy to be their mother. You're a bit high-maintenance, Abby Kate - but I wouldn't trade these days for anything in the world!

Sleep, Baby, Sleep

When Christa was a baby, she was sleeping 7-8 hours at night by the time she was 7 weeks old. By 2 months, she was taking fairly regular naps, and certainly by 4 months, I could predict when she would sleep enough to schedule daily activities as well as some down-time while she rested at home. Granted, I broke a few of the SIDS rules - she slept on her stomach after about 3 weeks of painful screaming (due to Reflux). I also pimped out her crib with some comforting stuffed animals, even giving her a duck/blankie combination which she still sleeps with to this day. We used the bumper pads, and although I worried when she buried her face up in it during her slumber, I didn't dare wake her. Just for good measure, I placed a soft blanket over her each time she slept, since I know I can't sleep without a blanket over me. When she refused the pacifier the one time I offered it to her, I decided she would learn to self soothe, and sure enough, she found her thumb by 2 and a half months. And to this day, our bedtime routine simply consists of a story, a song, a kiss, a prayer, and a "Goodnight Christa," as I lay her down and close the door for about 13 hours until she wakes up. Christa and I have always had a good thing going when it comes to our sleep. Yes, I pretty much rocked as a mom back then :)

When Abby Kate was born, I decided that I didn't like constantly worrying that Christa would die of SIDS, and I would have only myself to blame. I also decided that lots of other parents convince their babies to sleep on their backs, carefully following all of the guidelines, and so surely an experienced parent like myself could follow suit. I have done things completely differently this time around. Abby Kate started off sleeping like a dream, and I had to really work to wake her up to eat at night (what was I thinking???) that first month. I place Abby Kate on her back or her side each time I lay her down. She, unlike Christa, readily accepted the pacifier the one time I offered it to her, and they have been good friends ever since. I have had no cute stuffed animals anywhere near her, and although I do use blankets, I keep them away from the upper half of her body, unless she is safely wrapped up in her bouncer. She has yet to experience her cozy crib, complete with fluffy bumper pads. And I HAVEN'T SLEPT IN 4 AND A HALF MONTHS!!! Check that - 8 months - Abby Kate kept me up at night even from inside the womb.

Now, I don't know what to do. It seems a little cruel to suddenly pull the pacifier now, just because I have to wake up to find it for her 5 times a night. I don't know if she'd sleep on her stomach at this point even if I was willing to try it. The kid likes to eat around the clock, and although I've gotten some conflicting advice about this, I don't want to starve her if she's truly hungry. (I'm not one of those parents that can "discern the 50 different types of cries." They all sound the same to me).

I've been told twice this week that "smart babies don't sleep." I think that's just something some doctor made up to make the parents of the sleepless babies feel better. Well, do you know what they can do with that advice? They can repeat it to me over and over again, because it does, actually, make me feel a little better!

I know, I know - every baby is different. And I know, I know, the SIDS recommendations save lives. But it's so disheartening to feel like such a failure when all I need is a good night's sleep!

Rules Schmules

Knowing which rules are worth fighting about with your 2 year old is hard.

Enforcing the rules that you deem "important enough" is harder.

Enforcing the important rules when you happen to have a cute 2 year old is even harder.

Enforcing the rules when your cute 2 year old is, say, so very thrilled to be jumping on her bed when she's supposed to be listening to her bedtime story, is really very hard.

Enforcing the rules when your cute 2 year old starts chanting "no more monkeys jumping on the bed" while she's breaking about 3 rules by jumping on the bed is really really so much very hard.

Enforcing the rules when your 4 month old starts laughing hysterically at your cute, rule-breaking 2 year old is downright impossible!

Sometimes, a happy family moment is more important than enforcing the rules.

Merry Milestones

Hello all! Here are a few pictures I thought you might like to see. Ironically, on the night of my previous post, our little Abby Kate hit my favorite milestone - sleeping through the night!!! She made it a full 7 hours in her bouncer (our record, so far), woke up to eat, and then proceeded to sleep another 3-4 hours. It was wonderful!! I'm not sure if it had anything to do with my purposely avoiding caffeine at dinnertime that night, but just in case, I've cut back. Anyway, enjoy the pictures, and have a very Merry Christmas Eve!!!

Ready to go to church!

So peaceful, I just had to capture it on camera!

Getting ready to make her acting debut as "baby Jesus."

She made a very sweet "baby Jesus." "Joseph" was about the most attentive "new dad" I've ever seen. He didn't take his eyes off the baby the whole program!

Singing "Away in a Manger" for the crowds.

Earlier today, we hit another major milestone. I put Abby Kate on the floor for some tummy time, and proceeded to organize some pictures just in from my photographer. I turned around to check on her, and saw this:
Luckily she rolled over again for the video camera because I totally missed the first one!

As Christa says, "Mawy Kissmas!!"

Weekly Update

Hello all! In keeping with my half-promise to get back to my weekly updates, here I am. (Feel free to do the happy dance if you feel so inclined :) We have been relaxingly busy the last week... if that is possible. Cline is right in the middle of a 2 week break, so we have very much enjoyed having Daddy around all day!! We'll pay for it at the end of the month when he works nonstop for a while, but we're trying not to think too much about that right now.

We are almost ready for Christmas. I have just a few more presents to wrap, and maybe a last minute gift or two to purchase if I find just the right thing. Tonight, we had the pleasure of going to LaLa and Poppy's (Cline's parents') church for their children's Christmas program. Abby Kate was "baby Jesus" and sat as content as could be on "Mary's" lap for the whole program!! I was quite proud. She's a terrible sleeper (more on that fun in a minute), but she makes up for it by being so happy and easy-going the rest of the time. At the end of the program, Christa joined the kids as a little angel and sang Happy Birthday to Jesus. Then, at the request of LaLa, she did an impromptu, solo, acapella performance of Away in a Manger. Sooooo cute and soooo on tape thanks to my father-in-law! (He said he'd have to think about how much he was going to charge me for a copy :) She completed her number with enthusiastic applause for herself. To say Cline and I were proud of both of our girls tonight would be a huge understatement! I'll try to get some pictures of the evening up in the next day or so.

As far as Abby Kate's sleeping goes, there have been no "Silent Nights" around here for many days. She started out sleeping like a dream - 4 or 5 hours at a time from the day we brought her home from the hospital. She was never a great napper - she likes to cat-nap, and I'm lucky to get a full hour at a time. Plus, she's always gotten very fidgety unless she was being held. But she made up for that by sleeping at night. Then, we had the feeding issues the first month, and I had to wake her up at night to eat. She was still doing ok for a while, but I was kinda hoping she'd start sleeping through the night at 7 weeks like her big sister did. Instead, it's gradually getting worse. If she sleeps 4-5 hours, she wakes up every 30 minutes to an hour after that to "eat" (i.e. nurse for 30 seconds until she falls asleep again). The last 2 nights, she's woken up every 2-3 hours all night long. Come on, kid - this is newborn stuff!! We're supposed to be past that!

I'm totally blaming the SIDS recommendations, and I have to admit, I'm having a harder and harder time resisting the urge to put her on her stomach and be done with it. I'm learning that babies don't like to sleep on a marble slab with no blankets, no lovies, and no cute bumper pads to look at, stretched out on their backs like all of the health care professionals insist on! I actually knew that from the beginning, but figured that plenty of other parents out there get their babies to sleep on their backs, so we should, too. (How do you do this, people??) We let Christa sleep on her stomach from about 3 weeks on (due to reflux issues), and it was a dream! While I don't expect Abby Kate to sleep all the time like Christa did, I do feel like she should be able to sleep comfortably for a decent stretch at night and a couple of hours during the day by this point! Not to mention, she's about to be able to kick herself out of the bouncer she sleeps in (early on, she showed her disdain for the very nice bassinet that was purchased just for her)! Any advice on this would be greatly appreciated. I'm about out of ideas.

The rest of my time lately has been spent obsessively reading the latest news articles about the health care reform bill. Without opening a huge can of worms on that topic, let me just say that I've been concerned about it, but I'm doing my best not to let it consume my life. I find I'm a much happier person when I just don't pay attention to the news, and I'm going to do my best to do just that this week as I celebrate the greatest event in history with my family. Although it sure is hard to resist pulling up the latest Fox News headlines when the iPhone is right there... all the time :)

Alright, I'm off to try to get my wide-awake infant to sleep for the night 3 hours, pretty please with a cherry on top!! Have a great night!

Merry Christmas 2009

Dear Friends and Family,

Wow! 2009 is going to be a hard one to beat! As we wrap up a fabulous year for our family, we are so thankful for our many blessing and look forward to good things in 2010.

Just after Christmas last year (literally a few days), we learned we would be adding another baby to our family. We were soooo excited, and I began preparing immediately with my good friends, nausea and vomiting! After a long and uncomfortable (but thankfully, healthy) pregnancy, we welcomed Abigail Kathleen, "Abby Kate," into our family on September 2 at 5:12 am. Despite our best efforts, the little 8 lb 12 oz bundle of joy missed the Kindergarten cut-off date by just a few hours. Somehow, I don't think I'm going to mind keeping her at home with me for an extra year! Christa jumped right in to her new role as "big sister," and introducing our two girls to each other was definitely the high point of the year! I don't think I'll ever forget hearing Christa tearfully yell "baby" down the hall of the post-partum unit when she had to leave that first night. They still seem to like each other, and Christa is very helpful, bouncing Abby Kate or fetching her pacifier when she cries. I couldn't be more proud! Abby Kate is a sweet, cuddly baby who smiles all the time. She's not the greatest sleeper in the world, but I blame that mostly on the statistically effective, but frustrating SIDS recommendations we're attempting to follow.

Early this year, we got some other exciting news - a position was opening up at our local trauma center. Cline has envisioned working locally for many years, and this opportunity came to us much earlier than we had anticipated when he accepted his first job offer in a nearby town in 2008. After much prayer and careful consideration, we decided that Cline would accept the new position here in town. It was definitely the right choice! Cline now works 10 minutes from home instead of 30. The schedule is much better, and Cline absolutely loves working with people he knows and being available when our loved ones have their own emergencies.

Christa continues to grow and change faster than I would like to admit. She turned 2 in June, and we celebrated "Nemo-style" with a water fun pizza party at our house. Shortly after that, she learned to talk in sentences, and converses with us like a little adult. She also embraced a new "big-girl room" and transitioned herself out of her crib and into a "big-girl bed." We are in the very early stages of potty-training. (I'm hoping to find the motivation to fully tackle that one sometime before she's 5 :) In August, she started going to a local church program, similar to a Mother's Morning Out, 2 mornings a week. She loves her teacher, and I enjoy the craft projects that I'm too lazy busy to do with her. She now insists on saying the prayer at each meal, and adorably sings Jesus Loves Me and Away in a Manger. She wants a Buzz Lightyear for Christmas, and has recently discovered the thrill that is Mickey Mouse.

As for me, I am thoroughly enjoying the energy that comes with not being pregnant! After 8 months of being sick and exhausted, and 1 rough month of teaching Abby Kate how to nurse, I am really enjoying being a wife and mother of 2. Our days are spent running errands, having play dates, going out to eat when Daddy's off work, and trying to keep some semblance of organization to the house. I also enjoy my Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS) group, which is a ministry to... well... mothers of preschoolers. I'm on the "steering team" which is the group of ladies who does all of the behind the scenes organization to keep the group running. I've gotten to know some terrific women through this group, and I look forward to the "girl time." I'm also hoping to resume Kindermusik classes with Christa after the New Year.

Well, I think that wraps up our year. We hope all of you have had an equally wonderful year.

Merry Christmas!

Jessica (and family)

** cards are in the mail **

It's Almost Christmas!!

Hello all! My wonderful husband spent the morning downloading all of our pictures to the new computer so that I can (hopefully) resume regular blogging again!! Unfortunately, I can't figure out how to move the pictures around, so they're going to be out of order this time. The best part about this morning is that Cline was downloading pictures while I was SLEEPING IN until 11:45!!! I can't remember the last time I got to sleep in as late as I wanted, and let me just tell you, it was awesome!

The rest of our time in recent past has been spent trying to "de-antify" (I know that's not a word, but it is here) our house. These little pests are stubborn this year. The last time we had a problem like this was the summer we had Christa in our Augusta apartment. What is it with ants invading our house when we have newborns?? At any rate, we've tried everything to get rid of these bugs and have only gotten a day or two's worth of peace in between attacks! Currently, we're going for the kill with tons of bait inside and out.

Also today, we found out that Cline passed his boards exam. He had to travel to Chicago in October to take this test, so we are praising God for the good results. He is "board certified" for the next 10 years!!

Christa is quite cute this year. She is very much into the tree decorating, and daily chocolate from her edible advent calendar. She required a little coaxing to sit on Santa's lap this year, but she did it after Abby Kate proved he didn't hurt :) She and I looked through a Toys-R-Us circular earlier today, and the only thing she says she wants is a Buzz Lightyear toy. A little elf told me that Santa arranged for just that very thing along with a tricycle on Black Friday, so it looks like she'll be pleased on Christmas morning.

Alright - enjoy the pictures:

Christa's little preschool had a breakfast with Santa. Here I am with my two girls! Cline had to work for this event, but the girls and I had fun eating pancakes and making a snowflake ornament.

Here are the girls with Santa. Abby Kate was starting to get sleepy by the time Christa finally decided it was safe to sit on Santa's lap.

Here's Abby Kate on her 3 month birthday (Dec. 2). That's Christa's hand, "helping" me to get a good picture.

Here is Christa helping to decorate the tree. She got a "Toy Story" ornament this year, and Abby Kate got a Winnie the Pooh Baby's 1st Christmas ornament to start her collection.

This is Abby Kate watching us decorate the tree. She was so good just sitting there so we could have all of our hands to hang ornaments.

Gotta run! Hopefully, you'll be hearing from me on a weekly basis now that we're starting to get on a better schedule and I have a working computer now!